There is no beginning and ending as no-thing at zero yet in the middle within the circle is space and outer of it is space also to grow. Unconsciously is the potential to grow and scope who i would never thought to become and that is sexless, indivisible and invisible. I use to dwell in the realm of physicality thinking thinking marriage is the completion of me, not knowing it was the femininity from within that were incomplete. I never have been into those depths to recognize or maybe i was in my depths since a kid but never recognized myself as beautiful, loving, nurturing and many more aspects to my own mindset. I thought i needed sexual intercourse to complete my sexuality time and time again with a female though never with a male cause i am me. I thought she would bring me joy though after paying attention plus hearing all the propaganda, religious doctrines and so much more then the bomb hit. The bomb of who are you? The most shocking revelation ever shook me up inside shattering off the pieces covering up the soul. I am soul.
So why was i proving constantly to myself and the world i was a male when both genders exist within me? I did not know thyself. I was still into the material realm trying to keep up with next people and their news to go along with any impression of how i was trying to impress others knowing it would not work though i gave it my all. Try loving a female who obviously did not love me is what really prompt me to take steps back as an observer kind of going back to my childhood memories looking out through his eyes watching everything go by not speaking a word. The young kid was me you know…and at age thirty-one pursuing collegiate degrees, certifications, writing my own annals of just becoming me while realizing i am one above all my other times and mundane likes helps me to understand why i needed to walk alone and will continue it until my endless times.
Sexless allows me to be a watcher over my soul and sever ties with trying to associate myself as a martyr, dictator, responsible person for anybody when everybody has their own devil and angel if you follow me. Kids really do not have an understanding of life they are born into to a degree so yes it is a partial responsibility to do good as a lasting effect like a prophecy to a child’s destiny rather than bad. After so many bad relationships handed to me, I just chose to die meaning not producing any children, therefore giving me with nothing to lose and all to gain. Never narcissistic and yet life to master mind of mine you see? Earth in my opinion can do without hue-man race as a proven fact of surviving considering all the other planets or stars of which we miss the philosophical truth to be captured as an great gem of axiom within ourselves. See the only reason why psychologies who cater to most governmental or corporate entities then again religious’s views matter is cause of economics. If there is no children then there is no economy nor need for business or culture; also no need for war, battle and fight to include extreme egotism. It would all go back to the beginning just as if i were to be sleeping without no thought into a deep deep sleep then natural alarm wake-up, wake-up, wake-up sleepiness; it is everything on once eyelids are uplifted. Everything that is ran is operated via spiritual chess so like-minded escapees like myself peeps this game called monopoly and dictatorship of words and symbols. Everything vibrates? Yes it does though never forget where you left off to keep going in your journey. I am not into being sexless for the fun of it or for the accumulation of wealth from it, no hidden agenda either other than the axioms of my conscious and unconscious one mindset like left and right sides of total brain one in the physical needed to merge to keep myself from being torn left to right or head in the clouds while body digging everything out. I got tired of getting swung by the pendulum from other influences, and even of my own emotions constantly trying to grasp society’s position of who i am to be and how to be a man, male, gender and so on. Why listen to them when my intuition said all along “listen to me”? I was in fear more than in love of myself. I use to have sex then the “feeling” of it just left me over time and i could tell. I started to switch love-making into a sexual sport based on the feelings of the lovers i was with as i was trying to fill them up. I never got governmental married but in spiritual form i was to each and every last one of the previous and final lovers counting on both hands and two toes all my life from early school to a couple years ago add some change. I was not satisfying her as something was going on within her spirituality as well as mine and those type of signals are evidence of stop, so i knew right then and there throughout a course of my lifetime about myself i was lost. I had the goals of every great man’s vision suppressing my own views of who i was just to be…just to be somebody i was not. Reason being i wanted to be a King for my family and much more but not like on the television or your favorite historical and herstorical accounts but my mindset wise to move them out onto their own empire deserved. I had the same vision for my family i had planned out to come too, though, if you are not accompanied by the like-mindfulness of a female then why waste time right? You trying different females with the same mindsets from your same methods expecting a difference going in circles getting burnt out spiraling more out of control from higher consciousness. I did not adhere to myself and not being aware of my surroundings caught-up in a dreamy like state of mind knowing i could fix whatever could be or is wrong for me and her but those outside influences on an unconscious mind, as the female representation, just blew me away consciously. Sometimes the outer influences are stronger impressions upon the femininity in all of us not knowing.
Being sexless requires tremendous strength and endurance relying upon your soulful word stepping patiently pacing upon the stars head above ground still being vigilant along your journey or path as we call it. Me not talking, allows a surge as one soulfully glowing brighter enabling myself to connect onto an orbit as if i were a planet tilted to see this angle over there coming around rotating able to see their angle here while realizing how to maneuver away from being tempted into a sex or gender-like talk of a vibration though further explanation of my psychology is in another book coming; so i just think how i think. When i think how i think vibration allows me to connect the conscious to unconscious mirroring each other as one so when i see a female or male i am really now seeing another soulful person. The soulful person may not be on my wavelength or sine language so i can choose not to speak or speak wisely without conversation of depth leaving an everlasting thought he is now a soulful being wiser than the previous times on a journey within himself spiritually endeavored sexless….