Note to Self about the World and Tri Ba Model Reasoning for Self

After studying the primary races of the world on-ground from the points of Germany (in their language), Netherlands, United Kingdom, Asia-Korea (in their language) Filipinos and other Asian affiliates near Europe and Africa called Middle-East to further East Asia, California-San Diego and Los Angeles primarily (Mexicans in their language) yet SD and LA are indeed international cities well known. I have been on my own search of the truth of hue-man society to see if I can indeed fit in somewhere where it is peaceful enough without trifle of females, conflict of religions, governments though like monks, sage, and shamans (alike people), ¬†slavery of all bodies of existence, Mississippi…the remnants of that state will bring the chills if you got intuition “to feel” the living ghosts still roaming around. I remember as we approached that state and just on the bus alone i looked around at the people sleeping and many were not high on alert righ. Many people said they were not getting off cause it “felt strange” yes indeed it did…physical slavery from back in the days still exist there and told to me by the people there on foot after getting off. I saw this Sistah with her daughter and i had my business suit on to disguise myself and also be myself at the same time so i could get the information needed cause i be knowing when danger on due to extreme experiences since a child up unto now–“i can smell it” which is an extrasensory sense; don’t ask me how my powers get turned on…don’t ask…i don’t ask the slugs who crawl at night how they get theirs either really though. She well i knew she was doing underhanded sexual activities even though her appearance suggested otherwise cause i don’t judge the cover–I use discernment and discrimination of the senses perceptively. Long story short, she broke down explaining to me while her daughter did circles around me smiling and looking up at me and hugging me and never did that to anyone her mother said and she never saw me before either not even on the bus riding up and getting out, no never; this is the reason why i keep true as self within cause as a kid back in the day i remember the same power and sow it keeps you in check of the higher self without no bragging or egotism of negative i choose to be Me as I inside and out…i can’t help it but at the same times it leaves me open as a target to anybody especially the unknown. So she wanted no needed and was wiling to be a housewife cooking and cleaning and teaching her kids she said to me straight out and i knew her like that before she even approached me head-on…i just knew it you know what i’m saying? She was true to herself and been through too much without even telling me as i had too. I had just got beat down by the Chula Vista police for reading a book in the park during sunset hours before my time to get on the bus to arrive back in South Carolina; i was just enjoying my last time in southern California watching the famous sunset go down in the west where if you ain’t got a weapon and bulletproof vest and a gang or a set then best prepare to run or stand your ground beat up or maybe killed or maybe murdered as a black male. It’s on like that on the real but you learn once it happen to you thinking it couldn’t until it happens righ. Geah. Real talk too you better be conscious and cliqued up or in a hurry somewhere to a safe location. Now that was my last time being homeless due to the fact my peripheral got ganked back to back by my sister and sistah who cause the effect of me traveling to California earlier than expected. ¬†Okay onto the black Filipino female who tried me while renting a room in her apartment that i found out was on crack working for the La Jolla hospital and she was former coast guard held in high ranks plus older in age though remarkably younger; she just mastered the art of turning back the hands of time. She told lies on me after trying to lure me in her tubs naked several times, and sleeping with her or cuddling with her and stuff even though i never did i just kept “business-minded” see i be feeling that snake-like stuff due to cobra tendencies of knowing what’s up! And “they” hate me for it too though expect me to lie down getting attacked by they shots sub-consciously and consciously, she also destroyed my finalized job opportunity in La Jolla, which she also help me get…the job was federal while i was a student at UoP (during that time homeless i still went bearing the marks on my back like a slave walking miles to get to class and those teachers remember it too) and i still remember yes! I got the job that will be bring the currency to freedom once and for all as my own self-made freeman on his own land and all you see? I think like that horse galloping called night mare in the darkness of mishaps and dismay swiveling to get to the pastures where i belong once and for all you see? Geah. Anyway, she lied on me but those people who knew me and my work ethic plus collegiate habit knew it was not me and had to be her then the tables turned around for her too yet she kicked me out after “thinking” i set her up but indeed it was on-going and told her in advance people didn’t take her in good hands but she didn’t listen and flipped sharply like a blade out on me you see? Got her homegirl and all, the homegirl claimed to be christian and that jazz saying she see me as a good man trying to battle demons and evil spirits i can’t see quite yet and her homegirl was going through some problems plus she liked me or so called loved me right? Now me being in love with a female who befriended me when i was in trouble running from another female who setup me for being killed previously and that’s how i ended up at the La Jolla hospital in the first place. That female who was partial black too had kids, who ultimately saved my life on everything, showed me the marriage documents and letters from prison of her husband saying in code of how he was going to kill me and her if i didn’t leave once he got out. Now, once i read the documents or letters and seen the marriage certificate i knew right then i was being setup for the wrongness to death…straight done in. If i wasn’t so nice and real by teaching those kids all i could, even though at times i would flip out on the mother but i found out why though…i finally found out why. Now follow me before backwards in this geometric thought pattern to the cause will you? Okay. I met that female while in California fresh off the plane after talking with correspondence as emails from a site i was posting poetry on righ. I cannot be proper speaking but rather street talkative me now so bear with me regardless cause this learning experience of hue-mans and just females in general then better associated to the black side in america okay? okay. I agreed to meet her when i were to touched in California to check out a job i was working on the state level information technology-wise cause my military clearance was still in the “go as activate” plus i kept tactically and proficient on everything soul friend. Check it. When i was in UoP in SC, cause UoP is everywhere online and on-ground and so i stuck with them on a genius level just in case if i were to switch fully on-line then i could have the option–a great militant strategy i figured and so did they obviously too way before i thought of it, me and my sister was living together as i paid her rent. Reason why i was paying her rent and also staying there was because of the vast benefits she would receive which was: a babysitter for her and my new born niece at that time, protection from me of course, help her with her studies also, to stack pay for myself and buy a home plus give her the money i was going to give to an apartment complex as appreciation plus as just help like i had her back like i’m suppose too righ? yes. Now one evening when her friend who swear she was christian too to the utmost faithful and married, the same one i had tongue kissed on my sister couch in the dark years ago when she was telling all the lovely sub-consciously things a black man wants to hear dearly of this and that i figured i was either stupid by betraying my brother who i had met face to face or just keep it on the under–her illusion of beauty on the outside was too strong while the moonlight pierce through the situation i tried to fight the feeling but shit the hoe was fine and sexy as fuck so fuck it what’s a kiss gonna hurt right? I mean…dayum…we didn’t fuck or nothing but it sho’ felt like it spiritually and even she admitted while feeling that heat steam through her thick jeans strapped onto her body like sin’s skin trespassing adultery by the minutes tongued-locked outer mind and body dizzy experience where no time exist; that baby thought and feeling start brewing cause she knew it and i felt it though i stopped it as it was only a dream you see in the physical no matter her beauty on the outer i had just fuck up my oath on my brother and couldn’t look him in the eyes when his daughter hugged me either. I felt ashamed but she didn’t though…insisting she was going to get a divorce and he was a hard working brother on the real even though i never knew they situation but it was obvious she was too hot ready to get out to test her limits on the under or forever–and she did too i heard. Anyway, though (somebody just called me on the phone and i had to stop writing this real shit so hold up…) i’m back now so geah that sistah who cheated and had feelings for me was over my sister apartment later on the years together with their two kids combined talking gossip as usual as two Christians alike, and so when my niece who was just about two or three years of age allegedly peed in the bed. My sister spanked her like splat splat splat on her arm or legs out of frustration being a first-time single mother of a half-mexican part native american part black or african of however you wanna put it but she’s a baby you know…only a baby. I heard it while doing my homework and hers too in the living room straight focused loving the brain i be pushing hardest fore at the challenge; challenges inspire me to be higher in thought like geometry and trigonometry. I knew what had went down so i calm down while she was yelling slightly at her and the baby started to cry and all you know? I felt myself as that baby and was like hell no you ain’t doing me like this and you getting yours some kind of way coming. So like i said i sat there confused of the scene that had just went down by sound and she went back into the other room with her friend talking about this and that of her lifestyle being a single mother now along with her friend too on the under it seems. I gathered my strength not to embarrass her in front of her friend but it came out as i walked down the hallway concentrated with the intuition of what had happened and just blurted out she was wrong for that spanking on a new born who is just crying and can’t help herself literally speaking so it is your job as a duty to help her for life and not punish her out of anger cause you messed up in the head and your lifestyle is not hitting out in the clubs and stuff. Don’t you know my sister looked at me long and hard then sprung up at me like a fierce cat and almost scratched my eyes and skins off my face and so i had to restrain her then fold her arms up down to the floor she went nice and easy trying to kick me everywhere screaming this and that and…and…i almost…almost just pulled back my punch in high air while staring at her then i just saw her felt her friend plus her friend’s daughter looking at me and i died out releasing my sister without punching and told her if she wanted too then go and call the police while i call the DSS. And oh she did too…told the police i had hit her and started it and had her friend in it right? Two females and black at that within an apartment complex in South Carolina known for being the most with prisons…my ninja, my soul friend i was gone fo’ sho without proof accept my scars inflicted on her as she reverse it as “if she was defending herself” you see. I had knew it but went back to doing my homework now plus getting ready to be out of the apartment and possibly locked up. The police came as one mexican-caucasian and black african female, who the male was calm and collected while the female was mean mugging me totally ready with her finger on the trigger seriously handling it out the holster as the door was wide open. I didn’t move on one inch…i told my story and she told hers along with her best friend backing her side that couldn’t even look me in the eyes and i wouldn’t dare ask her child to speak up either so in other words i was trapped. They told me to get out and cool down while the female looked at me and questioned me constantly with all the bullshit and still to this day they believed my sister even though she had not one scar or bump or anything on her but i had skin peeling off, scratches and a knife of deep betrayal in my back from my own blood and trick-ass bitch of a hoe she had as a friend that she knew about helping her adventures of it too! Interesting how they stick together on all tips and planes of existence. So i couldn’t even get my clothing but i asked the police to please pass me my phone and netbook cause i had my credit card and other identification record. There was a homie who had just arrived at his place across the way of where i was standing outside all alone listening to 2pac and shit like fuck it ninja this is it on the real now. Ask the homie if i could stay in his car for the night and showed him my scars and he looked at me like dayum what happened so we got up later and smoked one cause i couldn’t be near the apartment complex police was saying on repeat in my head. I walked out the gates, well jumped over it rather climbed then jumped down from it walking down Percival road in the darkness on the banks hiding under the shadow of trees as the lights went by nobody seen me bumping and head nodding to 2Pac all alone feeling his energy to strive and keep alive. It was getting cold as time pass bye so i just climbed back over the gate waiting in the gazebo near the homie place with phone number punched in the contacts, and he came out with the weed in hand plus the cigars plus the cigarettes too! We smoked in his ride then talked over the situations of life while the moon was out and he said he remembered seeing me with my niece walking her and playing with her and thought i was the father but i was just the uncle true to parenthood true to myself deeply about teaching anew if i got the chance to exist in a family model of right reasoning and spiritual backing for generations to come. He brought a blanket out and told me to relax then locked the doors back after i leave but text him first though. I promised and gave daps, ordered my ticket to Cali and taxi to come in the morning to the Columbia airport. I had my phone charger, netbook, phone and myself…so in Black America at that time my sister cause this effect up unto this day and more details but it also cause me to effect Tri Ba Model into existence for myself. There is more before my sister’s betrayal that added up to this man i am now who strives more spiritual than ever before besting my last times stripping death away like sheds of skin of a cobra after sun-up praising the blessing of warmth upon my body seeing light again brightly beyond nocturnal as the rock holds my foundation solid moved not i am One from the north to the south to the east to the west. Back on that bus trip now, Louisiana was wild and popping with characters getting crunk at the station while it was in delay i went out a few miles cause the bus driver that was suppose to be there said they was not coming via live from the previous bus driver who got out and dipped himself. We all was like what fuck is going on here you know. All colors of people on that bus and nationalities with beliefs…never taking a greyhound again but this greyhound rode us through the most unheard of spots and onward to the longhorn state–Texas. I never heard of “ghost towns” and seen any with tumbleweed blowing over but this was unbelievable to the max as it happen and like in Mississippi many said they wasn’t getting out due to the spiritual nature plus dry hot heat. I got out anyway to feel it more cause wearing that suit was getting played out as my nuts was sticking together so i changed later on back GA but check it. I wouldn’t live in Texas either as it is the same stuff in California but deeply enriched in the racism and prejudice as everywhere on this entire planet is just about it; though good exist within all of the planet too. Man that town was straight up ghost and got the story told by the bus driver of all the souls who still dwells there and even he said he hates going there i mean if you were to look around you would swear you was in the historical times of the wild wild west of the salons and all. We got back in then me and an older Caucasian woman had started up a conversation lasting all the way to Alabama about incognito racism and sexuality while people on the bus looked at us smiling, some where emotionless, others were sleep, a couple eating. Man I felt like a spiritual being time traveling through zones and such, then this drug stop within Texas came up and a fool packed a pound or more of weed in Lays bag of potato chips which was clever but them dogs was cleverer and sniffing now…i tell you this i was under the impression of weed is an herb so from Cali i brought mine though snuff it in my suitcase and disguised myself like i said as a businessman which at that i was in the mindset as i had this KFC job waiting on me back in the hood Columbia, SC still in college righ. Now when those dogs or german shepards came through along with the border patrol suits on the bus and underneath it…when they came at me regardless of color i just faked the funk and told them my business and suggest them to check mine which was a bluff move and so he looked at me clean up and down to the shoes and haircut like “sorry sir you have a nice day” and i slipped him identification cards for extra insurance cause as a stereotyped individual stranded in the movie called zombie vs intelligence you gotta react forward and not backwards with preplanned concoctions leaving them wondering often like did he or not but i’m gone poof like whoodini down as the answer since test invented the theory as the host guess and yes geometry will get you there with your own score of trigonometry bumping tracks select. Studying people to the max while enjoying they conversations so i can figure out how i can move-in closer to the destination i got’ta reach fool wisdom is thicker so i have cut through it and not be mastered by it you feel me? It be hectic in the seat traveling into Alabama as some get off to reload feeling like the KKK just got on despite colors but we got out though and oh yeah i got an ole buddy of mine back in 2001 while in Korea he was from Mobile and knew Montgomery and his name was Jimmy though we called him redhead white chocolate man with freckles who smiled you had to laugh plus you felt the south was in him to the fullest cause he just didn’t give a fuck but with the right attitude he was a cool dude white chocolate or not. We go way back and still keep in touch via email though him being airborne rigger made him more rugged while me being down as myself he took me as a real soul and couldn’t trip on me ever. He told me all about Alabama and the information technology booming there to include the spots to go and not plus we shared country music to metal to heavy gangsta to our own with be-boping and pencils staying up late night playing rpgs hacking into systems creating viruses and worms for the funk of it. Those days has passed bye though…laughing to myself in the present though of the havoc but towards Georgia where i am most familiar with too and so the sistah who her daughter with her looked back at me and i smiled at her and told her to please go get your degree and stay with your moms cause them “temp jobs” you be claiming i know was not for you; she agreed like i was trying to say back early in the true story of this i am explaining forward though shifting in between thoughts and times but you follow me abstractly though. Her daughter waved at me and I waved back knowing i could not bring her the happiness she deserved at that time as i had no home but indeed i had job awaiting and in college but never did i want to see a Queen homeless with me or struggling with me unless we in the house or dwelling together…i rather be intelligent and send her on her way in a better direction and not of my selfishness; i know better and best as it is a mother quality within myself knowing i’ll survive but she will survive and go better as i cannot put you in more harm and danger for her path was brighter and cleaner as mine was just getting cleared up from all the rift raft even though she was truly sincere about being with me indirectly and i could see that dream come true of a wife who is the Queen that stayed at home and taught our children our way of life while i happily went out to collect the currency needed to pay our taxes mostly and utility bills if there are any cause within the Tri Ba Model going green is the best way. We feed our selves from our own land and design our own fashion supplying services to the public for generations to come and you can see the Tri Ba Model Reasoning for self later; it’s for myself sharing a thought of inspiration i found within myself to you soul friend my ninja. ATL was wild as usual with a gang of black police officers and such and such to include prostitutes but oh you got the otherside of riches and glamour! Everywhere it is like this to an extent through all cultures of religious intentions perceptively from the rich to needy a gap is not closing in but chasm and even more between genders in Black America whether you recognize it or not don’t run up on a Sistah who intentions you do not know of and neither a Brotha as both are homicidal mixed in the genocide perceptively coming at your mind sub-consciously and consciously upfront and ain’t caring one cent if you rest in piss or peace. Straight up and business be like that too as crabs in the bucket syndrome (all is not like this but can’t tell) though i can tell you about certain cultures of all hue-man races but life will not let me live long enough to explain all the details really though family. So i ended up waiting my last final ride back to SC, where oh i had bought this trailer that needed conditioning to the max but only livable to me in Sumter. I asked my so-called family to check on it while i homeless righ? I was planning my escape struggling it out on the streets back in California, having talks with this so-called brotha i met through craigslist about how he was ex-Navy with a non-profit suiting the public but mostly black folks. Okay so we shared information about history and higher consciousness to ensure some kind of trust though i never told him about my homeless situation as trust stops at a limit but this brotha still sticks me in the back though and should have known but my family never check on the property for me like i asked them for weeks claiming that it was too far from columbia to sumter to travel and go and see it righ? But they will go all the way to Trenton from Columbia and other places which is almost longer and i understood my moms and sister at that time to be “official against me”. See i remember like the elephant and put all they times together watching the scenes turn out but this brotha and i almost got into a heated fight until even his own brother was like man i’m sorry cause even he didn’t know what was going on plus USAA had told me to check on the property as something seemed fishy and you see soul friend my ninja…all my life i been trying to outwit evil at all angles to be free and for some reason they keep coming back at me head on with stuff. This brotha actually turned on declaring he never said this and that but i kept his emails and recorded phone conversations cause he was willing to law on me and i even cried one time on the phone at him begging him please just give my money back cause i had another investment of a home better for me as that one was not even his plus he had no documents of it or rigging it up and man it just goes on and on hoping i stop calling him and i did. I gave up and he gave me a total of 1500 hundred dollars out of 4500 grand he owed me. I didn’t want to kill him nor injure anybody else cause he disappeared all of a sudden but his brotha sincerely apologized and he had just got out the pen recognizing how important it is to stick together on the underground tip with business…he showed loved and shook his head at his brother while his brother mean mugged him and played him pulling off in his jaguar and myself he played too but my uncle at that time was like why don’t you go to court nephew? This man just got away with thousands of dollars and you just gon’ let him–naw uncle he gon’ get his; and his did too straight out of business and prison for fraudulent and criminal activity. Word on the street came back in the newspaper in the mug section while i went into a store years later buying a cigar for the loud and indeed my ninja it was time to smoke to myself as karma gets them all one way or another. Geah. Black America is trifling and the Tri Ba Model Reasoning for self is the reason why i wanted to go forward in my life if that Queen ever came into my life but she ain’t coming and so later you can see me in action from facet to facet cause i love sharing mind with mind as i’m down to the end soul friend you know? Shhh we all looking for freedom and real conversation in that spot that is peaceful and it be the hearts of righteousness. Note to self about Black America….


At Night

Still tripping,
not caring,
throwing up,
sick as ill,
you like it,
don’t fight it,
no wisdom,
steel busting,
she thought,
he said,
resting in piss,
at night.

Reflections at Night

Why me?


and so i stare,

the glare is real,

still waving,

the waters,




memories repeating,

battling me,

they war at me,

shaking my head,

no!! no!!

Not now…

I get up,


and the reflection,

my reflection,

jumps out,

from beyond,

and begs me,

to stay with him,

at night.

Reflections at Night

On boulders,

by myself,




a pebble,

in my right hand,

left out empty,

throw it no,

skip my destiny,

how far ripples,


they perform,

perform shows,

so dark below,

let me strip,

the world is sleep,

night same as my body,

darker than dark,

shine on me,

taking my plunge,

into the neverending,

reflecting my fate,

at night.